Hello?

I really thought I’d see my Grandpa even after he passed because movies made me really believe that was possible. That may sound funny but it’s no joke, I fight back tears every time I realize that can’t happen. Sometimes if I’m really upset I close my eyes, think as hard as I possibly can and hope he appears but when I open them I realize that doesn’t work either.

When my brother was little he lost his grandma. Sometimes we’d hear him talking to someone and when we’d ask who he was talking to he’d say it was her. I really believed him. Then again he was probably 3 or 4 years old so my only explanation is that instead of a made up character, she just happened to be his imaginary friend at the time. I still wish it were true though.

It’s just too soon for me to face another death, even if I hardly knew her. It just makes me realize it’s one more person I won’t be able to see for a long time, one more person proving I can’t see my grandpa even after he’s gone.

I know I’ll always have him with me in my heart and in all the memories but there’s that part of me that believes in all the fairy tales and magic that truly thought he’d visit me one night to tell me everything would be ok. I’m just still waiting for that night…